D-Day

Bear just took the last dose of pain meds the vet gave us, and we're supposed to have some sort of diagnosis from the clinic within the next few hours. Big decisions are coming today and my stomach is in knots.

He's been a very good boy, taken all his medication, and despite a bit of understandable loopiness from the painkillers, been extremely sweet and cuddly, and even let me groom him a bit. Too much pulp fiction has me convinced this bodes ill, but of course I am a dork and am hoping desperately that I'm wrong.

Rick and I sat down and arrived at a game plan we think we can live with, for all the possibilities; we wouldn't be able to make a spot decision like that, so we decided to figure it all out ahead of time. Won't make it any easier though.

Today is going to be a very, very, very long day.

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Is today fucking over yet?

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( Goddamn fucking veterinarian.  )

Thanks, guys.

You're all awesome. And I'm a total wuss, whining over a cat this way.

Condescending Vet Lady got back to me and then Rick and I talked and thus is our game plan and rationale:

1. He goes to the specialist tomorrow for the biopsy; it turns out to cost about $350, which is way less than we were led to believe. That way we'll know what we're dealing with. If it's untreatable cancer, we won't put him through the bladder surgery and will send him off with dignity. According to the lab, this seems the most likely outcome, and that is making me very scared.

2. If it's either treatable cancer or scar tissue, we'll get his bladder operated on (including reverse catheterization to remove a crystal blocking his itsy urethra, the poor baby) and remove any discrete tumors, and all will be well.

If he has any kind of cancer, taking out the stones will only make him worse, as his resources will redirect themselves to helping him recover from the surgery, and his liver situation will get worse, or even comprimise his ability to heal from the surgery. So that's not an option, as is simply putting him down because the odds are against him. We figure that $350 is easier to replace than regret over an underinformed decision.

We got new pain medication from a pharmacy that costs a whole lot less and should do a good job. We shall see. Tomorrow mid-day I take him in. We'll get the results (hopefully) on Monday and will then have to make a final decision.

Gah.

Thanks everybody for the kind words and suggestions. I'm freaking out far more than I expected. Sorry if I've been brusque.