jood: (Default)
1. Sleep on my side without making my arm fall asleep or half-dislocating my shoulder. How the hell does everybody else do it?

2. Learn to recognize the stupid damn signs of dehydration. I almost never drink enough, and I can't seem to force myself to. When you start to choke for no reason, Judith, you need to drink fluids, you utter tard.

3. Tell the difference between gas and the onset of cramps.

4. Wake up enough in the middle of cramps to take more cramp pills so I can fall back asleep and get some rest, instead of lying there half-conscious, miserable and fighting the pain, but not quite roused enough to do something about it.

5. Eat breakfast.
jood: (Default)
I am afraid of Pop 'n' Fresh cans.

I can't explain my irrational fear of these little spiral tubes, but when I pull the paper wrapper, my heart goes into my throat and I wait in terror until it pops open. Attempting to force the issue by prying at the seam with a spoon or banging it against the counter doesn't alleviate the anxiety; I can't breathe, my hands shake, and my throat becomes so thick I can't swallow.

They scare the living shit out of me.
jood: (Default)
Okay, I figured out what was wrong with the Bush Handpuppets.

Don't clicky if you haven't read HBP )
jood: (Default)
Okay, so we strolled into the lovely Tasca (La Tasca?) for tapas to celebrate the [livejournal.com profile] kellychenault's birthday over dinner with good friends (and some really tasty Sangria), and were surprised to discover ourselves recipients of more prezzies! For our birthdays! From [livejournal.com profile] christhetoken and [livejournal.com profile] lenadances!

My prezzies were wonderful (I lurve the Jesus tape!), and we spent a good chunk of time on Sunday staying up to watch two of the three Strongbad Email DVDs. So funny!

But first, see, we watched the DVD they'd given R, something called "Kaiju Big Battel", which is...it's...erm...erm. It's erm.

It's some kind of insane hybrid of:
- really reckless and creative wrestling
- Japanese monster movies
- a parody of really reckless and creative wrestling
- a parody of Japanese monster movies


Yes, that's a red sea urchin with a cactus for a head sit-down powerbombing a can of soup.


It's...it's psychotic. Full grown men, well trained wrestlers to be exact, dressed up as city-crushing monsters enslaved in a battle royale so as to prevent further earthly destruction. They're giant green foam plantains, a foil wrapped potato, a massive dust bunny, a can of Kung Fu Chicken Noodle Soup, an enormous mechanical-armed cardboard carton - named of course "Robox", and a whole array of mutated undersea and alien creatures, wrestling pretty damn well in a ring littered with cardboard boxes painted to look like a cityscape. (See what they did there?) I quite like Hellmonkey too.

It has what appears to be a rabid fan base, and from what I can get from their website, they do actually have live events. None in Chicago yet. Their next one is in West Virginia. I would need to be REALLY loaded to go see one, but there's no way you'd keep me away from the place, ultimately. It's just too damn fucked up to miss.

It was a brilliant piece of film making, in that on the entire DVD, there were only a couple of actual matches, and they were in the "Bonus" section. The rest of the thing was pre-produced bits playing off the existing mythos. It's...::shaking head::. Token, you are a madman, you know that?

jood: (Default)
My brain is in a strange place today.

This is the photo I just saw on the cover of CNN:


And this is, for some reason, what came to mind. I know not why. )



Also, this is just plain wrong: Depp's 'Chocolate Factory' has tasty opening.

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